why?

why am I the fucked up one? I didn't deserve this life. You can't choose your family and upbringing. I've had lots of shit and trauma in my life. But I've never loved like I've loved you. And still you broke my heart and here I am. If anything happens, you saved me AAP and I have loved you from the day I saw you playing pool to now. why don't you love us, your family and notice us? we love you, we miss you. xoxo ❤️

Love always.

I love you always and forever xoxo. It's getting to the end. They are yours, always have been. They love you, you're their father. Don't abuse it. I wish we could be a family together, you chose someone else. I love you, we love you, always have always will. xoxo

shutdown

I give up. That's all. I've been through hell and back and I give up. I thought you would choose me. I was wrong. thy will be done your will be done. I'll always love you xoxo forever and ever. 

2-21/15

my fiancés uncle is in hospice for lung cancer.  Cancer runs through my entire family and we've had many deaths. 

It hurts me to the point of shutdown to see my fiancé in pain. His uncle has lung cancer and is now on hospice. I know what that means from multiple family members but this is first. 

Valentine's Day 2015

it's Valentine's Day and the day I thought he would just text "happy Valentine's Day," that's all. never did but he texted me happy anniversary on January 29th which meant the world to me. he could have least have been a friend and responded. anything. I'm here alone, unloved and nothing like always. 

I've tried, tried and tried again. I don't see what my purpose is. I love with everything I have after everything I've been through and it's still not good enough. I shouldn't be here or the man I love would love me. He's the father of my kids and my backbone : I love you Alan Andrew forever and always xoxo

Hi